Today, I’m thrilled to share this guest post on one of my favourite topics ‘how to be intimate with yourself by the wonderful Susana Frioni.  Susana is an embodiment teacher, facilitator, coach and host of the LOVE SEX DESIRE Podcast Series.  Combining her experience as a group fitness instructor, yoga teacher and certified Deep Living Coach with her passion for body-soul connection, Susana leads Sacred Dance Parties for women across Australia.

In the last 10 years, Susana has led over 3500 movement classes, privately coached hundreds of women, facilitated countless workshops and hosted a handful of retreats.  I can personally recommend Susana’s Sacred Dance Parties. I attended one in Sydney recently and thoroughly enjoyed it.

In terms of self-love and intimacy with ourselves, I regularly receive a couple of different responses to this topic. The usual is jokes about masturbation or downright awkwardness or embarrassment.  A client told me recently that she didn’t know where to start with spending time or being intimate with herself.  Let’s see what Susana has to say on the topic.

When you think of being intimate with yourself, do you instantly think of masturbation and self-pleasure? If so, this article is for you.

For the past few years, ever since I became a Deep Coach and Embodiment Teacher, I’ve been devoted to helping people become more intimate with themselves and yet, I’ve never taught anyone the how to’s of “masturbation” (well, not yet anyway).

That’s because the intimacy that I’m referring to is all about getting to know your self mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, soulfully and sexually. When one truly knows herself, she is more capable of having a deeply fulfilling life filled with deeply nourishing relationships, especially when it comes to the relationship she has with herself.

So here are 16 ways for you to start being intimate with yourself:


  • Stand naked in front of the mirror and really see your body. What do you see when you aren’t busy judging yourself? Radiate gratitude to your body. She is the temple where your soul resides.

  • Massage your body, slowly. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Notice the texture of your skin and the curves of your body. Spend a bit of extra time on the places that are tight or tender or just need some extra loving.

  • Do a body scan before falling asleep in the evening or getting out of bed in the morning. Here’s how: Lay flat on your back and simple scan your awareness from the soles of your feet to the tip of your head. Scan your body slowly and be sure to notice some kind of sensation in a specific body part before moving onto the next. Stay connected to your breath and be open to receiving all sensations.

  • Practice yoga or any mindful movement that encourages awareness of the breath and sensation. Notice how your body likes to move. Notice where you are holding tension and where you are open.  

  • Eat slowly and mindfully. Notice the different textures and flavours in your mouth. Notice the impact food has on your body.  Listen to your digestive system.

  • Breathe consciously. Spend 5-10mins breathing deeply and pay attention to the quality of your breath. Notice if it’s shallow or deep, slow or fast, smooth or jaded, restricted or easy.

  • Connect to your heartbeat. Notice its rhythm. Hear its whispers.


  • Pay attention to how you feel throughout your day and reflect on it in the evenings before going to bed. Use this journal prompt: Today I felt…when…

  • Next time you are triggered emotionally, locate the emotion in your body and allow it to be present without you reacting or repressing or judging it. Be curious instead and notice how the emotion manifests in your physical body. What does that look like? How do different emotions manifest differently in your body?


  • Get to know your inner critic. For most people, their inner critic is what is leading their life and they don’t even know it. Notice how you always have an opinion about what you say and do? Notice how you always feel like you “should” do something or be someone? Well, that’s your inner critic.  Get to know her so you can change your relationship with her. Your life will never be the same (in the best way imaginable!).

  • Meditate. This is another beautiful practice that allows you to observe your mental thoughts without reacting to them.    


  • Ask yourself the big questions: Who am I? What is my life purpose?


  • Write a letter to your soul. She resides in your body and is always whispering to you. If you struggle connecting with her voice, this is a beautiful practice to ignite the dialogue.


  • Get to know your vagina. Look at it. Touch it. Explore it. Notice what feels pleasurable and what doesn’t.

  • Get to know your sexual energy. Where is it located in the body? What texture is it? What activates it? What puts it out? How does it express itself through you?

  • And last but not least, masturbate and pleasure yourself.

Thank you so much Susana for these valuable intimacy prompts. For more from Susana see her site, and Facebook.

Share with us in the comments below other ways that you find helpful to cultivate intimacy with yourself.

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