We all have those times when we feel like we’re banging our head on a brick wall. You know what I’m talking about. When it feels as though every attempt to find a solution seems as effective as trying to sell meat to vegetarians or ice to the Eskimos. When it feels as though no matter how much effort you make, everything feels like a waste of energy. Those days, weeks or months (?) when you feel it would have been more productive if you’d just stayed in bed. Or is that just me?
If you feel as though you have driven down a dead-end street and are ready to burst a blood vessel at the next ‘helpful’ suggestion about an unconscious block (er yes unconscious means we’re not conscious of said block, for those who are not clear on the meaning of unconscious), then you are not alone. Not sure if it’s reassuring to realise that there may be two of us (or more) who are driving themselves demented. I’d be extremely wealthy if I’d received money every time I’d asked myself the question “what is it that I’m just not getting?”
Now, I’m the first to be an advocate for positive thinking, changing our mindsets and increasing awareness around the overactive monkey mind. However, sometimes I want to run down the street shrieking ‘enough’ hysterically followed by expletives, to the theme tune from The Exorcist (a disturbing insight into my week). So what to do?
1 Forget about it
I know, I know. Seems counter-intuitive and impossible if it’s a problem you’re obsessing over. So maybe not exactly ‘forget about it’ but more like ‘give it a rest’. Focus on something else and place your energy on something physical and mundane. Turn your favourite music up loud, clean your house and then go out for a walk. The physical activity will burn up excess energy and make you feel as though as you’re achieving something constructive, even if it’s as simple as enjoying clean sheets or clearing out a cupboard. We think more clearly, when our environment is in some semblance of order (apparently).
2 Change your focus
When I am really frustrated and fed up of the strange looks I’m receiving in the street as I rant aloud to myself (oh you do this too?) I do Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and here’s one of my favourite short videos by Brad Yates “Nothing Works for Me”. I also turn to comedy (less of the ‘just look at your own life‘ comments please). I know that until my energy and feelings change, it’s unlikely that the situation will shift. Laughter is one of the quickest ways we can change our mood and lift our energy. I turn to my old friend YouTube and watch some bloopers from comedians. Here’s an old one with Ricky Gervais and Liam Neeson, that changes my mood instantly. Ask yourself ‘are things really that bad?’
3 Ask for help
If you answered ‘yes’ then reach out to someone who cares about you and tell him or her what you need. It may just be a friendly ear or something more practical but don’t suffer in silence. No man (or woman) is an island and all that. From time to time, it’s important to admit that we can’t do everything on our own and need help. Sometimes we make things worse for ourselves by not reaching out. A friend or family member could have just the solution you’re looking for with a well-placed suggestion or idea.
4 Ask yourself ‘what am I resisting?’
Sometimes a solution is right under our nose but it can be easier to stay in our comfort zone, even if we are feeling stuck. Fear of change, fear of the unknown and fear of success are all real fears. However, I’m sure you’re familiar with the acronym of False Evidence Appearing Real by Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series. What if the thing you need to do is obvious, but the reason you’re not taking action is due to your perception of the changes that will occur? What is the payoff for staying stuck exactly as you are? What are the benefits? Ok now you may be saying ‘well there aren’t any benefits’. I know you’re too self-aware to know that’s not true. There is always a benefit to staying stuck.
5 Know this will pass
Again, a cliché, but no less true. This frustration will pass. We are all moving through different cycles in our lives and there is always a bigger picture. Can you think of times in the past where you’ve felt baffled because ‘nothing is working’ the way you want it to? Looking back you can see why and it all makes sense. Hindsight is a beautiful gift. Tell yourself ‘the universe is always working for my highest good’ even if it doesn’t always feel like it. You are not alone with these feelings and you will get through it. Are you able to see the situation from a different perspective?
So tell me beautiful, when you are feeling like ‘nothing is working’ what do you do? I would love to hear in the comments below.