If you are familiar with my self-love work, which is my passion, you know that I’m a staunch believer we are only capable of loving and accepting someone, to the degree that we are able to love and accept ourselves. I don’t feel that it’s realistic to project our needs and expectations onto someone else, as it only leads to disappointment. I’ve learnt this through experience, time and time again, that no-one else can fulfil my needs. Unfortunately, many romantic relationships are based on need, not love. When we are taking responsibility for ourselves and feel happy in our own skin, this joy naturally overflows and we can share this love with others.
If you are in a space where you feel you’re ready and open to a new romantic relationship, what would be some positive, healthy steps to take? I decided to consult the lovely Camille Thurnherr, Dating Coach and Founder of “Ignite Mr Right”. Camille’s fresh and unique approach has helped hundreds of women in their search for their Mr Right. It’s her mission to support as many single women as possible in finding their Mr Right, so they can have the relationship they deserve.
Camille has studied at various schools of coaching and personaldevelopment and she has attended numerous workshop Intensive with world-class teachers, including Cheryl Richardson, Wayne Dyer and David Deida. She has just launched her 6 week “Ignite Mr Right” webinar course, with the next one starting in January 2013 and is currently writing her first book, to be published in April 2013.
I asked Camille if she could summarise some practical steps for us all to consider… I LOVED what she had to say….
1. Being Mrs Right
I know it’s cliche, but is indeed true; finding a suitable partner always starts with YOU.
Many of my clients come to me with what they want in their Mr Right.
If you do have a big “wish list” with all the bits and pieces you’d like in a partner, ask yourself: “Who do I need to be, in order to attract that guy?” and maybe consider: “What would that kind of guy look for in a woman?”
For example, if you are looking for someone who is generous, ask yourself: “Is generosity something I could develop even more?” The more honest you can be with yourself, the better.
Being Mrs Right will give you a strong, solid foundation, so you can attract the right kind of guy.
2. There are great men everywhere!
You never you where you might meet your Mr Right, so start to notice the men around you.
Every day, be more aware of men; as you get your take-away coffee or walk to work, notice at least one positive thing or quality about a guy. Do you like his warm tone of voice? Do you like his teeth or his strong hands?
In Quantum Physics, the theory is, that wherever you focus on, grows. By noticing the positive qualities and attributes in men, you are changing your mindset and you will start to notice more and more great men around you. They won’t all be single, but many of them will be.
So rather than saying: “Where are all the good men out there?”, change the question to:
“Who might be the best match for me?”
3. Smile & shine
There’s a saying that goes something like.. “When you smile, the whole world smiles with you”.
When you smile, you show your inner & outer beauty to the world. Men are initially attracted to our beauty and feminine radiance, so just by smiling more often, more men will notice you.
For one week, walk around pretending that you are happily in love with the man of your dreams. Imagine you are fulfilled on all levels; mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
By embodying how you would feel, it will actually start to feel real to you. You might listen to a specific song in the morning, that remind you of a really happy stage in your life. You will have a certain glow about you, an inner confidence.
4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
There are so many ways to meet single men! I always encourage my clients to try a few different avenues, like speed dating, exploring new hobbies, like Photography classes, golf, tennis or Salsa.
Make it your goal to meet 3 potential partners by the end of January 2013.
As women, when we meet a guy (or girl) we like, we sometimes tell ourselves the he’s (she’s) “the One“, before we really get to know him. By not putting all of your eggs in one basket and dating more than one guy, you’ll avoid the common dating mistake of getting too emotionally attached too soon.
Also, by going on many dates, you will also get more clear on what sort of company you actually enjoy. Sometimes the sort of person we think we want to be with, is not necessarily someone who is the right match for us. So, allow yourself to be surprised.. 🙂
5. Fulfill your own “love strategy”
What do you need to feel and experience, in order to be happy in a relationship? How will you know that you are loved? We all have a different needs in regards to romantic love.
Gary Chapman explores this concept in his book “The 5 Love Languages“. For me personally, I feel loved the most when I receive regular gifts from my partner. Receiving any sort of romantic gift, like perfume, flowers or even a pretty note book, gives me the feeling of being loved instantly.
So what is it for you? So whatever it is for you, come up with a way to fulfill your own “love strategy”. For example, if you need affection, in order to feel loved, you could have regular massages, maybe even from a good looking male masseuse : )
The more you can fulfill your own needs on a daily basis, the quicker you’ll attract your Mr Right. Happy dating! x
I loved this so much that I will be joining Camille on one of her fabulous webinars, where we will be discussing this topic further! “The Art of Self-love and Getting Ready For Your Mr Right“ on Tuesday 4th December. Join us and let’s be open to meet our Mr Right for 2013 and open to deeper levels of love 😉