Self-love. It’s a much bandied phrase in recent times. When I first heard it, many years back I wondered ‘what does this really mean?’
I remembered reading about an exercise where you stare at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself ‘I love you‘. A great idea in theory but maybe too big a jump if self-love is a new concept to consider. I tried this a few times when I was in self-love preschool and I responded in one of two ways. 1) I would giggle hysterically, feel ridiculously self-conscious and scan the bathroom for a hidden camera.
Or 2) I felt much sadness come up to the surface as I knew it wasn’t true and I felt like a fraud…then furious with myself for getting worked up about doing this stupid cheesy exercise! Bingo. I guess that’s the whole point…to bring into awareness how we feel about directing that statement to ourselves. Ok maybe it wasn’t such a dumb exercise after all…
Those three words…that can seem SO important to say or not to say in any of our significant relationships.
Who should it say first? Should I wait until he’s told me? If I say it first, will it make me appear needy? Will he now feel pressured into saying it back, when he’s not ready? Do I want to hear that if he’s not being genuine? Is he only saying it because he thinks it’s obligatory as we’re being intimate? On and on it goes…..
Yet the person we should be making a commitment to love, the one whose wellbeing should be of the utmost importance – is the one we often completely ignore… So tell me again why it’s so hard to say those three words to ourselves and feel like we really mean it?
Now I understand what self-love means for me – it’s self-responsibility.
This is vital. Accepting and acknowledging that only I can be responsible for my own happiness and fulfilment. No-one else can do that for me. No-one. It’s up to me. And you. Are you ready to make a commitment to yourself to take care of your needs? The most important step on our self-love journey.
What would a little self-love look like for you?
One of my favourite ways is to light a candle and soak in the bath. Myself in the bath, not the candle. What do you love to do for you? What symbolises you giving to yourself in a sacred loving way?
Take a few moments now to go inside and consider what feels right for you. Which part of you would really love some nurturing right now? Click To Tweet Your own heart will tell you…..
Let’s take a moment to embrace how much the same we all are.
We ALL want to be loved – that is a given. So let’s do ourselves (and everyone else) a favour and commit to learning to love ourselves, moment by moment.
It must be wonderful to look in the mirror and say “I LOVE YOU” without giggling hysterically, bursting into tears or feeling angry. How freeing must it be to just see that face smiling back at you, nodding in agreement because you know it’s finally true.