The past couple of weeks in particular I’ve been pondering the nature of being visible and allowing ourselves to be seen. Based on much inner work over the years about this topic and conversations I’ve had recently with friends and coaching clients, it seems to be such a huge block for many of us.
Even though I can be sociable, I’m particularly content in my own creative and meditative bubble. With three planets in dreamy Pisces, I’m quite happy in my own little world. What I’ve realised though is that this is NOT helpful at times when you have your own business. As a business owner, it’s imperative to connect with people you want to serve. You may be a genius at what you do but if no-one knows about you, who is that serving? No-one.
I’ve taken the plunge and I’m currently doing the “Video Fame Academy” course with the fabulous Andrea Glazier, who is patiently teaching us about creating videos (see her in photo below). I decided to expand my comfort zone, learn new skills to connect on a more personal level with more of the wonderful women that I would like to work with. I cajoled a couple of friends and a Self-love Coaching client into participating as they shared how they too would like to feel more comfortable being visible.
Video is a perfect way to allow ourselves to be seen literally and figuratively. It’s only Week 1 but it’s brought many realisations into my awareness. It’s been thought-provoking about why we have such a problem with being seen and heard, not only by others, but mainly by ourselves. As I’ve watched the fledgling videos by fellow participants, I’ve been inspired by how interesting they are and how much of value they have to share – just by being themselves. Why then do I not allow myself the same courtesy? I’m going to.
Let’s be honest: we do not have a balanced or favourable perception of ourselves for the most part. In our society where we are constantly bombarded with the superficial and unrealistic versions of ‘perfection’, it’s easy to compare and feel we don’t quite measure up and what we have to say and share is not quite ‘good enough’, ‘clever enough‘ or ‘interesting enough‘. It seems to be part of the human condition.
Why are we afraid of being seen?
It’s the old irrational fear of opening ourselves up to be rejected, judged and found not quite “enough.” However, we’re all in this together and we all have the same fears.
I spent an hour of self-imposed frustration this morning at Bondi Beach scrabbling around on the rocks, trying to avoid the crowds who have descended for the annual “Sculpture By The Sea”. It was an attempt to find a spot where I could create my weekly video challenge for the “Video Fame Academy”. I tried to find the perfect spot where I could make a 2 minute video without the sound of people talking in multiple languages and dogs barking. On the way home it occurred to me that I had stopped myself from creating my video – because I didn’t want to be seen by all these people. I didn’t want anyone to watch me filming my little clip. The irony was not lost on me. Here I was pondering the topic of allowing myself to be visible and I was totally avoiding it – again!
Why should I care if anyone saw me talking to my iphone? It’s hardly groundbreaking or newsworthy! Who cares what a total stranger thinks? What’s the problem if I come into their awareness for one split second in their life? Big deal. How self-absorbed to think anyone else is concerned about what I’m doing.
For the most part, we’re all so focussed on ourselves and no-one is thinking about us nearly as much as we ever imagine as they are. You know, because they have their own lives to lead…… I know, how rude of them!
When we take a leap and give ourselves permission to be ourselves, be vulnerable and be ‘real’, we realise that it’s all ok. No-one died or was seriously inconvenienced. It’s ok to be flawed, to be human, be vulnerable and it’s not so bad to be seen and heard. In fact, maybe you letting yourself be visible could be just the inspiration that someone else needs to do the same?
We all want to love and be loved, but how can that occur if we are reluctant to reach out and connect? How can we ever experience true intimacy if we are hiding, particularly from ourselves?
See my very brief video below that was part of my assignment for the course this week. Learning to communicate on video is one of my ways of becoming more comfortable with being visible.
A self-love challenge for you:
I invite you to consider an area in your life where you are hiding and not allowing yourself fully to be seen, through fear of judgement. Close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath and focus on your heart space. Ask yourself “Where can I allow myself to be more visible? Where am I holding myself back? What is one small step I can take right now to expand my comfort zone in this area? Let the answers come to you.
I would love to hear in the comments box below where you are going to allow yourself to be more visible? Let us see the real you. You have so much to share with the world. What is possible for you right now if you allow yourself to be seen?
Well done Michelle,
I know it can be daunting..woohoooo!!!
Your voice was very soothing and you look gorgeous.
thanks lovely lady! xx
Oh Michelle, I love this post, and as you know I’ve also been grappling with the being seen thing. Your video is great. You have a real beauty and calmness to you that is contagious. I’m going to reflect and meditate some more on what I can personally do to be seen – but I have a couple of ideas. One is getting out more and overcoming the shyness to actually introduce myself to people – that is something that I always resist, so often standing back in the shadows. It’s time to step out and be seen I think! This year for me has after all been about taking risks and following the heart. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post and journey, and I can’t wait to watch your future videos xo
Thank you so much gorgeous. You are doing such beautiful work and so many people will resonate with your message. It’s definitely time to step forward and be seen. Yay! 😉 Love Mxxx
I loved your video. It’s ironic isn’t it – we avoid being seen filming on camera, but the whole point is to get our message out to more people and be seen by them!
Maybe it’s a protective thing – the barrier of the screen can go someway to protecting us from the viewers perceived judgements.
I’m learning to leap this week, in so many different ways. Your message was inspiring – Thankyou 🙂
So true isn’t it Marina, we hide ourselves away and then realise it’s not helping anyone – especially ourselves. The beauty of Youtube is that these days we have this amazing free tool as a way to connect with so many people. Look forward to seeing your videos 😉 Love xxx
I loved this video Michelle – and totally agree with Naomi’s accolades of your beauty, calmness and the way you can resonate with people through the camera. Whatever you are learning in your video course – its working !!! Your comments about being seen – even by your own eyes hit home with me. I do struggle with this incredibly…and also need to meditate and find calmness in my mind on how I approach this. My new life coaching business is taking shape in my mind – in terms of ideas, website design etc but its time to get it out there, in time for finishing the course and launching into this new life phase. I am seeing this through my mind eye, but its translating this to my physical eye, and then thinking about the eyes of others is the tricky part. I will get there – with a lot of gentle and self love !! Big hugs to you beautiful lady. xxx
Thank you so much for your kind words. This seems to be really topical at the present time as increasingly more women are stepping fully into their power. It’s very exciting for all of us and wonderful we can support each other in this time of expansion. Yes amazing how we do expect this external validation of our worthiness yet fail even to see and acknowledge ourselves. It really is a lifelong commitment. Love xxx
I would just like to say you’re video was fantastic. You look beautiful, like you are really living what you are teaching. It was really thought provoking for me.
So, here we go…where am I hiding?
I make candles..beautiful candles..which no one ever sees. I post little safe random pics of them on Instagram, almost anonymously.
I would truly love to make a little business and share my candle love…but I hide them & me…thinking they aren’t good enough or I’m not good enough…I guess that’s what it equates to.
This has really hit a nerve with me. .very confronting indeed. Where to from here ?
Thanks for the wake up call, Michelle <3
Thanks beautiful. You make gorgeous products and I have often admired them. That are MORE than good enough and I must order some for myself. Thanks for the reminder love xxxx
Michelle, you’ve definitely rumbled me with this one! I had a huge shift on Friday and realised I’ve been leading a double-life in many ways for a long time. I can’t believe you wrote a blog about it this week- how strange!
I love it when you say, “For the most part, we’re all so focussed on ourselves and no-one is thinking about us nearly as much as we ever imagine they are. You know, because they have their own lives to lead…… I know, how rude of them!” Exactly!
Thank you Michelle- lots of things to take away from this! xx
hahaha so true though isn’t it Katie. We can become far too self-absorbed at times, worrying about inconsequential things and blow things out of proportion. Yes really something in the air with this topic at present 😉 love xx
Oh Michelle! You radiate such beauty from within. Please keep doing more video’s!!!
Your voice and your presence are so soothing to my soul. Being “seen” has always been such a big topic in my own life and one I am continually working on to stretch myself out of my ‘so called comfort zone’. Lately, even more so in many different areas of my life. Thank you for your comforting words and thought provoking questions which I will continue to ponder on and take action. <3 xx
Thanks lovely, it’s such a big one for us all and great that we are all moving through this together. Would love to see you doing videos too Jenny 😉 love x