The past couple of weeks in particular I’ve been pondering the nature of being visible and allowing ourselves to be seen. Based on much inner work over the years about this topic and conversations I’ve had recently with friends and coaching clients, it seems to be such a huge block for many of us.
Even though I can be sociable, I’m particularly content in my own creative and meditative bubble. With three planets in dreamy Pisces, I’m quite happy in my own little world. What I’ve realised though is that this is NOT helpful at times when you have your own business. As a business owner, it’s imperative to connect with people you want to serve. You may be a genius at what you do but if no-one knows about you, who is that serving? No-one.
I’ve taken the plunge and I’m currently doing the “Video Fame Academy” course with the fabulous Andrea Glazier, who is patiently teaching us about creating videos (see her in photo below). I decided to expand my comfort zone, learn new skills to connect on a more personal level with more of the wonderful women that I would like to work with. I cajoled a couple of friends and a Self-love Coaching client into participating as they shared how they too would like to feel more comfortable being visible.
Video is a perfect way to allow ourselves to be seen literally and figuratively. It’s only Week 1 but it’s brought many realisations into my awareness. It’s been thought-provoking about why we have such a problem with being seen and heard, not only by others, but mainly by ourselves. As I’ve watched the fledgling videos by fellow participants, I’ve been inspired by how interesting they are and how much of value they have to share – just by being themselves. Why then do I not allow myself the same courtesy? I’m going to.
Let’s be honest: we do not have a balanced or favourable perception of ourselves for the most part. In our society where we are constantly bombarded with the superficial and unrealistic versions of ‘perfection’, it’s easy to compare and feel we don’t quite measure up and what we have to say and share is not quite ‘good enough’, ‘clever enough‘ or ‘interesting enough‘. It seems to be part of the human condition.
Why are we afraid of being seen?
It’s the old irrational fear of opening ourselves up to be rejected, judged and found not quite “enough.” However, we’re all in this together and we all have the same fears.
I spent an hour of self-imposed frustration this morning at Bondi Beach scrabbling around on the rocks, trying to avoid the crowds who have descended for the annual “Sculpture By The Sea”. It was an attempt to find a spot where I could create my weekly video challenge for the “Video Fame Academy”. I tried to find the perfect spot where I could make a 2 minute video without the sound of people talking in multiple languages and dogs barking. On the way home it occurred to me that I had stopped myself from creating my video – because I didn’t want to be seen by all these people. I didn’t want anyone to watch me filming my little clip. The irony was not lost on me. Here I was pondering the topic of allowing myself to be visible and I was totally avoiding it – again!
Why should I care if anyone saw me talking to my iphone? It’s hardly groundbreaking or newsworthy! Who cares what a total stranger thinks? What’s the problem if I come into their awareness for one split second in their life? Big deal. How self-absorbed to think anyone else is concerned about what I’m doing.
For the most part, we’re all so focussed on ourselves and no-one is thinking about us nearly as much as we ever imagine as they are. You know, because they have their own lives to lead…… I know, how rude of them!
When we take a leap and give ourselves permission to be ourselves, be vulnerable and be ‘real’, we realise that it’s all ok. No-one died or was seriously inconvenienced. It’s ok to be flawed, to be human, be vulnerable and it’s not so bad to be seen and heard. In fact, maybe you letting yourself be visible could be just the inspiration that someone else needs to do the same?
We all want to love and be loved, but how can that occur if we are reluctant to reach out and connect? How can we ever experience true intimacy if we are hiding, particularly from ourselves?
See my very brief video below that was part of my assignment for the course this week. Learning to communicate on video is one of my ways of becoming more comfortable with being visible.
A self-love challenge for you:
I invite you to consider an area in your life where you are hiding and not allowing yourself fully to be seen, through fear of judgement. Close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath and focus on your heart space. Ask yourself “Where can I allow myself to be more visible? Where am I holding myself back? What is one small step I can take right now to expand my comfort zone in this area? Let the answers come to you.
I would love to hear in the comments box below where you are going to allow yourself to be more visible? Let us see the real you. You have so much to share with the world. What is possible for you right now if you allow yourself to be seen?